In the end you are what you make of yourself

Do you ever try to describe yourself in words? To articulate those characteristics which make you who you are?

If you've ever tried, you'll agree that the answer to this question is by no means simple, it’s not even unilateral. You can answer it on a variety of levels. You could speak of your nationality, culture, social network, religion, social status, jobs, education, achievements, failures etc. I'm sure some people even go as far as defining themselves mainly according to their appearance, geographical location and ancestry. These are all valid answer if you want them to be, you are the only one who has the right to give yourself a meaning, a definition. I would say they're definitely not all equally interesting though...

Iit goes with out saying that most of these things are interdependent. For example, it may be that your culture will influence your social network, religion, social status, education etc. It's also generally true that our failures are the roots of our achievements. What is also obvious is that many of these aspects of our lives are part of the skin we are born into, such as nationality, culture and regretfully social status. Where as others such as our education, social network, achievements and even our faith are (or can be) products of our decisions.

I feel free to be who I want to be. I've always felt free. I have the impression that I was born into a very comfortable world with very little context. I had no strong religious beliefs imposed on me. I was allowed to choose which activities I wanted to take part in as a kid. I do not feel like I have a strict culture to follow. Instead I try to embrace the cultures I know are in my blood because they are wonderful, but in no way does this stop me from appreciating and learning about cultures. I realise that the majority of our fellow Homo sapiens do not have this freedom, whether they are tied down by culture, faith, race or other inopportune circumstance. I strongly sympathise for these people. I am also eternally grateful for my parent's understanding and open mindedness.

The freedom I have been blessed with has allowed me to have a great deal of control over who I become, it is the reason I am so interested in firmly grasping my persona. However I’m sure it is also the reason for my tendency towards self-criticism.

It is through this general feeling of freedom that I attempt to give my self a purpose, or a definition as you might call it.** When I try to grasp more firmly my persona, or that of an other person (granted they live in a similar situation), the facets I consider are the following: Behaviour and Sentiments. In my opinion these are the most interesting way of understanding one's self, or other's for that matter. Let me try to explain what I mean by this.

A rather indirect way of understanding someone is through their behaviour. When I speak of behaviour I'm referring to the "actions" one takes in life. Some pretty obvious examples of actions one might take are the choice of participating in physical activity, professional endeavours, the creation of art or the usage of drugs. Included in the list is a person's social behaviour. The reason I feel this is the most indirect, and at times misleading, way of reading people is too often we say or do things that either we don't believe in and/or aren't truly representative of the way we feel. Often it’s not even about doing the wrong things but simply about not doing anything at all, whether it’s due to a lack of confidence or just laziness.

Complimentary to our behaviour we have our Sentiments. Our sentiments portray the way we feel about the world. They include our beliefs, our values and even our emotions.
You all agree our beliefs and values are to some extent acquired as we grow up. Of course no human is completely self-developed, as free as I feel I realise that I owe a great deal to my parents for who I've become. However once we've reached a certain age, it should be expected of people to adopt their own point of views and take responsibility for their decisions.

Emotions are a whole different story. The reason I say this is because these represent an aspect of ourselves which are at times virtually unchangeable. I think it’s fair to say we have some control over our behaviour and beliefs. However, could you argue that you can help the way you feel? It depends on the situation, I think. As I've talked about before in a previous post, with a positive state of mind we have some control over our happiness. If hormones come into play it does change the ballpark though, I won’t deny that. I'll also argue that some emotions can not be helped, Love for example. I'm not sure if Hate can be helped, I get the feeling it can only be suppressed. Then again forgiveness is a beautiful thing.

Together with our values and beliefs, our emotions form that part of us which are often hidden to the outside world. Asides from our very close friends and family, it is not common to meet someone and have an in depth discussion related to one of these precious characteristics. So the reason our actions are so important is because they are the materialisation of Sentiments. They allow us to expose to others who we really are. In my eyes this one reason why motivation is so critical. It does not suffice for someone to have good intentions; acts of good will are what make the world go around.

I think it’s very important to take the time to think about who you are becoming. In fact, I would even go as far as saying it's what constitutes the road to happiness. So I advise you, (Haha, tell me about it, who the fuck am I to be advising you? :) Be careful what aspects of your life through which you choose to define yourself. Is it something as silly as a characteristic appearance or lifestyle? Is it something you might loose by unforeseeable circumstance such as another person? Maybe it’s something you will definitely loose with time such your physicality. Or is it something that’s part of you, something you've worked towards that can never be taken away by anyone or anything. Something like your curiosity, your desire to produce, your passion for art or your courage, your open mind, your kindheartedness or even your happiness.

Here are my thoughts on the subject; I'd be interested in hearing yours.

You family member, friend and/or acquaintance,
Jaypee

** Welcome to this blog's first foot note. The reason I use purpose and definition interchangeably is because they are equivalent. The purpose of something is reflected in the definition and the definition draws upon the purpose.