Shining from within

Dear whoever you might be,

Thank you again for taking the time to read about my life. It really means a lot to me.

Just as a heads up, I’m not going to concentrate on all the beautiful towns I visited, the gorgeous weather I experienced or my fabulous adventures. There wasn’t much of that stuff. Although I did go to Brussels a few weekends ago to visit: “Le Musé de la Bande Dessinée”. You might have seen the ridiculous photos. Anyway, I was in my glory because they were celebrating the 50th anniversary of “Les Stroumphs” and if you know me at all, you know how fond I am of those little buggers. I think it’s the euphoric state of innocence in which they live that makes me so happy.

The rest of this letter is intended for those of you who really care about me. You’re all welcome to read but you might get bored.

What was truly amazing about this past month was my mental wellbeing. I’m sure you’ve all experienced moments in your lives where you’re simply not happy for an extended period of time. You get caught up in routines which you are not satisfied with and spend time doing things you find unfulfilling. You end up with a strong feeling of apathy towards the world. That's exactly how I was feeling back home. I was craving something new and refreshing but all I found was the usual everyday dealings, I wanted to feel ecstatic but all I felt was apathetical. It turns out that my ticket here was literally my ticket out of this mess. There has been a certain happiness in which my mind and spirit have been absorbed and somehow it seems to make every moment, even the bad ones, at least tolerable.

The question is why. So, right now you’re thinking its because you're in Europe having an amazing time, experiencing new things, meeting new people etc etc etc. Somehow, I feel the reason is more deeply rooted then simple novelty, and besides wouldn't that have worn off by now? I think it has to do with Me. If you don’t already know this, I’m going to write it out for you LOUD and clear: Exterior circumstances can not determine how you feel on the inside. If you’re on the apathetical level, maybe you’ll be able to satisfy yourself or even make yourself happy by doing something entertaining. But if you’re unhappy with yourself and your life, the change is going to have to come from the inside or your brain how ever you want to look at it.

So you’re thinking I’m contradicting myself now. Why has a new setting emotionally charged me if I just finished saying externalities can not make you happy? I think the deal is that my mind is much freer now. Not having a world of academics to worry about, which is at the heart of my ambition, gives me time to think. It’s simple really, no homework equals time, and with this time, I have been able to bring myself to a new level of feeling.

I mentioned Me earlier. First of all I’m not writing a biography here. I only want to point something out to all of you who might not have realized it yet, something that makes me Me. I’ve always been the type of person who is very conscious of himself and the world around him (I’m trying to expand this to world in general). I’m not only talking on a self-conscious level, I mean with regards to almost everything about me from the way I dress to the way I ponder my interpersonal interactions. This characteristic is what allows me to understand how I feel with regards to people, my life and the world that surrounds us. When it comes down to it, I am conscious about my consciousness, I reflect on my own thoughts and put my own opinions into question. That doesn’t mean I’m totally and utterly confused as you might be thinking. It’s quite the contrary, by doing this I allow myself to better understand why things are the way they are. I’m an engineer, and therefore I need proof, logic and reason to understand things. I try my hardest never to take things for granted.

By the way I don’t care what you think, because I feel that my introspective pattern is one of my strongest qualities. You’re welcome to give me your opinion though.

So sure, sometimes it can be bad and it leads me to care too much about what others think of me. Of course there are limits to everything, and caring what people think is definitely important no matter how you swing it, unless you’re a hermit. Caring too much is just as bad as you know. It prevents one from being outgoing and original. I love being different and I’m learning to be outgoing. But at the same time I’ll always care what certain people think of me, for example my friends and family. I’ll always want them to think the best of me because I’ll always think the best of them. I never want to let people down, I want to be that person you can always trust and rely on. It’s up to you to decide whether you think that’s true, all I can do is my best.

So, all this to say that I’ve made a huge step, no … a leap, in terms of making the decision when to care and when not to care. You might think you’ve already made this step and I’m lagging behind. Maybe, but better now then never right? Do you walk down the street proud of who you’ve become, of what you’re making yourself? Good! Me too. Call me what ever you want, I am proud of the person I’m becoming because I’ve put and continue putting time into reflecting and effort into improving Me. I’m not aiming to be perfect, that would be silly. I’m aiming to be open minded and positive. Something I learned was critical from a handful of people.

“The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts.” – From an e-mail my wonderful mother sent me.

Something else I felt needed changing is my jump-to-the-gun way of judging (is that an expression or did I just make it up?). I’ve always had strong beliefs in what is right and what is wrong. Probably because of the way things were so clearly laid out for me as I grew up. As a consequence I ended up thinking I was right as soon as I had an opinion! Hahaha, funny ey? Well guess what. I bet you do the same, didn’t you just judged me right now? I don’t hold it against you if you did. It’s ingrained into us as we grow up that we need to have a set of beliefs and values by which we are defined. This entails that others with different beliefs and values are not on the “right” track. So maybe you think this doesn’t apply to you. Have you ever judged someone for being religious by telling yourself religion makes no sense? Or even worse, have you ever judged someone for saying something you used to believe but no longer do? I have. But all it took was for the most reasonable boy I know to explain to me why judging is a waste of time. Asides from only being a non-productive negative pastime, it’s simply of bad character. How can you pass a judgment with out understanding why? It took me a while to realize that what’s good and makes sense to me might not to someone else. The most interesting (and maybe only) thing I learnt from my anthropology course was that people pass judgments because they do not know the full story. So I’m learning to accept the way people are instead of thinking they should be different, even if I don’t understand why.

How could I accomplish this with out putting into question my own opinions?

All these changes in my attitude, these are what have really been making me happy and clearing my mind, not the traveling nor the beer. I feel like I'm starting to understand life slowly. So, what to do with this happiness other then let it be seen and do as much good for the world as I can? I wasn’t always this way.

I previously said “I’ve always been the type of person…”. That was a lie. Sometimes I lie. Someone, a very special person helped me become this way and helped me to begin growing up. Because to me, all this is part of growing up. This person taught me to use my brain for things other then school. They took the time to explain my personality to themselves so that they could then explain it to me. They were one of my few friends to really see how childish I was on the inside. Which was acceptable at the time don’t get me wrong, I was young and innocent! So, I’d like to take this opportunity to thank her. You know who you are.

I’d also like to thank many others. Of course, to truly express how I feel would be a waste of time because there are no words (that I know of, which isn’t say much ;) that could truly express how much I love you and how thankful I am for every minute of your lives you have devoted to me. For those of you who showed up to my birthday, you are exceptional. I will love you forever. It made me so incredibly happy to speak to all of you. (For those I didn’t get to speak to, I was using telepathy)

Dear friends and family,
You who have helped me sculpt my life from the beginning
With out you I’d feel like any old fish in the sea
You who fill my days with happiness and meaning
With out you, I just wouldn’t be Me

Love from across the ocean,
Jean-Philippe Moya

Antwerpenstraat

Goede dag iedereen!!

From the sunny warm beaches of Majorca, I have made my way to the chilly wet streets of Antwerp. But who's complaining?

The next step of my journey started with a short flight to Brussels. Well, it ended up being much longer then anticipated. It might have had something to do with the screaming baby beside me. Anyway, I arrived sane.

Let me tell you, when you go from having Nothing to do to having a bunch of small things that need attending to, it feels like the end of the world. My first week here was definitely very hectic. I spent most of my time after work running around left, right and center trying to get things organized. Which isn’t easy when you get off work at 17h, and stores close at... well, 17h. By the end of the first week I was more or less settled, I knew how to get around and I had met and remembered all the names of the 20-or-so trainees working here at Agfa with me.

This brings me to my next point. Multiculturalism is amazing. There are interns working here from all over the world. Most are even very interesting and insightful. We often discuss cultural differences and exchange thoughts on the subject. On occasions, parties are hosted by people sharing a common background to introduce the rest of the itnerns to their customs. I am planning on have a Canadian party, so to speak. There shall be de la tire, poutine and maybe even Nanaimo bars! My two flat mates are part of the large French community. We get along very well, in French. Its really nice to have people to go home to. I hardly ever feel lonely because they're there! There are also many other interns in the near vicinity.

Something which was repeated to me countless times before coming here was that Belgium is know for its chocolate, its beer and its astonishingly shitty weather. They were right on all counts. It feels like it rains a lot here, but maybe that's due to a reminiscence of beautiful weather from not so long ago. But when I'm at work, I don't care.

As long as my weekends are sunny, which they have been.

My first weekend here I went to Brussels on Saturday. We roamed the streets and marveled at the beauty of La Grance Place. A huge square surrounded by aged buildings sculpted to the finest detail, carefully illuminated to allow their gold pinnacles to glimmer in the night. The place was full of people gathered around, watching a musical march take place. We started our night in a bar with Chevaliers, a liter of beer served in an oddly shaped vase, and we spent the rest of the night drinking and wandering. We took the first train back in the morning, and from there I took the first train to Breda with a couple friends. Breda is a small town in Holland near the border. We were blessed with a cloudless sky and warm air. Having spent the day in the sun, we decided to go for a Koffee. That’s when an almost predictable event occurred. A girl by the name of Marie-Jane came and sat down with us. She was actually very nice, and knew just how to make us laugh! Being of good company, we spent the day with her walking around having a good-old-time.

My second weekend in Belgium, I went to see Yannis in Liège! Once more, beautiful weather was upon us. So what did we do? We played a game where he was The Guide and I the tourist. We drank among the Wallonians, the French Belgians, who were hosting celebrations in the name of their culture. We ate des gauffres and drank de l'hidromiel (honey wine, Mmmm). We drank des Bières Spéciales, which are high in alcohol content, all day. I really mean all day... I've never been drunk off of so many different beers before! Some had 8%, 9% and even 12% alcohol! Amazingness. On Sunday we drove to Holland again, to a town named Maastricht. We didn't stay very long; it was more of a drive through. And what a coincidence it was. You'll never guess who we saw! We spoke briefly and to my greatest surprise Yannis had already known Mary for many years!

Last weekend was just as amazing as the first two. Except this time I was in Paris! I got to spend the whole weekend with Samisosa. It was so amazing, everything about it! Thibault even came up from Toulouse. We also met up with my friend Marion which I met in Mallorca. So wonderfully pleasent that was. It was so warm and sunny all weekend; we walked around for hours on end hoping to see everything we had planned. From the Eiffel tower to le marché aux puces to le Cartier Latin. We did Paris in a weekend. I’ve posted pictures on BookFace.

As for work, I must admit how truly lucky I am. My colleagues are so nice. They're always there to help me and most of the time quite anxious to practice their English. Did I mention EVERYONE here speaks English? It's remarkable. What’s even better, my boss has been one of my most pleasent acquaintances so far. He's very understanding and knows how to handle my situation. I really lucked out. As of now, I've just barely scraped the surface of my project. Incase you care, my project involves a lithography** technique, the printing plate, and how it wears with time. These plates are used to print newspapers, books, magazines etc. I'm quite happy with the project because it draws concepts from my studies. What more could I ask for?

I'll leave it at that, I don't want to bore you with the meticulous details behind it all. I wish you all the best of luck.

Until next time,
Jaypee

** Wiki says: Lithography is a method for printing using a plate or stone with a completely smooth surface.